Much of the effort in becoming a feminine and ideal woman is in discovering who and WHAT you are, as well as what kind of woman you really want to be - your authentic self. However, dove, this can be a source of conflict in this modern society because the views of the feminine role have become muddled!
Your view of the feminine role is also likely to be quite different from other women. And it's rare in a group of women for everyone to agree on what makes an ideal woman. Only YOU can discover what's ideal for you - the real you.
In addition, you can't just blindly accept the feminine role that you were conditioned by your mother to fill, or that others tried to condition you to fill. You must discover it for yourself, lovely, by learning the art of being a woman. You have your OWN path to follow.
Be your own woman, an independent woman, and don’t allow peer pressure to force you into an inauthentic role!
You will need to try on for size everything YOURSELF; seeking the most appropriate expression of yourself, as an individual. You must also build the courage to express yourself authentically as a woman - in your looks, your personality and your character.
Women today rely strongly on cosmetics and glamor techniques as ways of being feminine, in the belief that femininity is largely a matter of OUTWARD appearance and form. From the vantage point of a feminine woman, there are so many different styles dressing as a 'feminine and ideal woman,' so many different looks in hair and makeup....
And they're all important.
In addition, these things make the art of being a woman fun *smile.* However, true femininity isn't a mask or a costume to be put on each day to impress others (except for those women who are unable to accept their gender.) And the truly feminine and ideal woman has developed her feminine capacities to the fullest.
And has accepted and embraced the FEMININE approach to life.
A feminine and ideal woman may use cosmetics a lot, and sheath herself in glamor on occasion, but she doesn't think of these as more than external adornments, lovely. Furthermore, her real femininity lies at the core of her personality, and it will respond warmly only to genuine masculinity and to high value men. Not to half-men or abusers or players!
In addition, true beauty comes from the INSIDE. It can’t be found beneath a load of cosmetics and surgical alterations. When you recognize that you’re a beautiful woman on the inside, you’ll broadcast that awareness on the outside.
You're beautiful, dove!
In order to perfect the art of being a woman, and in order to clarify and accept the feminine role for yourself, you must have (or find,) some source of male approval. A woman can be truly feminine and ideal only by giving and receiving honest responses in her associations with men.
However, in order to elicit a response from men, a positive response, the sad business of being blatantly "sexy" or "man crazy" merely describes the frantic efforts of a woman to gain the reassurance she has failed to receive at home.
Naturally, a FATHER is the best male figure to offer male approval to a woman, and can help out a great deal in the early years of adolescence. A father can also appreciate a daughter's efforts to become/be beautiful and ideal woman, and give her the masculine admiration she so desperately needs.
Exposed to all kinds of threats to our feminine integrity, if we had fathers who called us sweet nicknames (such as "princess,") and gave us a feeling of being precious, we'll generally live our lives relatively unscathed. With a feeling of our own WORTH that others can't help but respect.
A LACK of this important contact can have devastating effects! The father who's too busy (or too uninterested) to notice his daughter, or who reacts with heavy disapproval toward her, will find her trying to satisfy her needs, prematurely (or even promiscuously,) with other males.
It will be a futile and tragic effort, dove; unless a woman gains a clear appreciation of herself as a feminine and ideal woman - a woman aware of her personal strengths and POWER (instead of depending solely on the reflections that she sees in the eyes of men.)
**Not all of us had supportive and encouraging dad's growing up. That's why we may have to find a source of male approval elsewhere (from a high value male, of course.)
However, during the initial explorations into the art of being a woman, and the feminine role, a father is the biggest man in a female's life.
Nevertheless, if you don't love yourself INDEPENDENTLY (of the approval of men,) and if you've failed to build self-confidence, cupcake, you'll feel that you must, at all costs, attract some sort of masculine attention in order to live with yourself.
You'll also find yourself acting (and being) DESPERATE, instead of operating as a self-assured and feminine woman!
Your image of yourself is the CORE of your feminine personality. Unless you genuinely like and respect yourself as a feminine and ideal woman, others will not really like and respect you (although they may pretend to in order to get what they want from you.)
Accept FULL responsibility for your life. Don’t live as a 'Patsy,' a doormat, a sheep, or a victim. Stop giving away your feminine power!
In the art of being a woman, you must accept that you alone are the master 'creatix' of your life, and that no one is coming to live it for you. Furthermore, take responsibility for your own financial future.
OWN and embrace your femininity and power!
KEEP your heart open. Regardless of how badly you may have been hurt in the past, keep your heart open. You’re actually a lot stronger than you think. And the rewards of LOVE far outweigh the risks of being hurt again. You’re here to express love, to give and receive love, not to live in fear.
Embrace your sexuality consciously. You and you alone must decide the role that sex will play in your life, and thus learn about yourself as a woman, as a feminine personality. If you want it and enjoy it with your man, let that be enough!
Different women will have widely varying opinions on what kind of sexual expression they personally prefer as wives. But the commonality is that they consciously decide and accept what's right for them, regardless of how other people feel about it.
Sex before you're really READY for it, may hamper the development of your feminine role by curtailing other important lessons. It's also your femininity, rather than your femaleness that you're trying to cultivate.
Become WISE; as a woman, you're naturally highly intuitive, so work on deepening your ability to trust that intuition! Keep learning and growing, life (and the art of being a woman) is your university :-)
In the long run, your wisdom and experience will become one of your greatest assets. Both as a way to meet your own needs and to help others.
Practice SELF-CARE; avoid becoming overwhelmed (or taken advantage of,) by taking time for yourself. Give yourself permission to do what you enjoy. Demands from other people can wait!
Accept that you can’t do everything for everyone, and that you can’t give to others when you’re empty inside.
EXPRESS your creative side; cultivate outlets for creative self-expression. Explore music, art, writing, poetry etc. Build a business. Be artistic (this is about the art of being a woman, you know!) Put your ideas into physical form.
Find your VOICE; build the courage to express yourself authentically as a feminine and ideal woman. Speak your truth too, you deserve to be heard! If others react negatively, that’s their problem!
ASK for what you want; you can’t expect others to be mind-readers. You also have to teach others how you want to be treated - not by dropping hints but by telling them directly. This isn't being selfish! And if you don’t speak up for yourself, who will?
Find your GIRLS. Consciously build and nurture a supportive network of gal pals, as well as positive relationships. Drop relationships that drain you, maintaining them is self-abuse. If you don’t like your current relationships, it’s up to you to change that.
Surround yourself with GOOD people, lovely, who love you and inspire you. You deserve the very best relationships!
You should, however, try to clarify your OWN ideas and feelings, so that you know what you honestly think and believe, as opposed to what others suggest you should take as your viewpoint.
If, for instance, you don't like drinking excessively, you needn't feel pressured to try. Pass it off lightly.
Being a bit different (without seeming prudish or making others feel uncomfortable,) is a GOOD thing. And not a bad way to begin building up your personalized version of femininity :-)
Even if, on occasion, you think that it's necessary to do what others do, you can comply without surrendering your own clear standards and feelings.
Perhaps the surest guide in the art of being a woman and fulfilling the feminine role is;
Your own aspirations.
Your feelings about the kind of woman you want to be.
The kinds of goals you're striving for.
The kind of life you hope to establish for yourself.
Being clear on such questions may help you to decide a lot of things that confront you, because you can then see them in some perspective and evaluate them in terms of what you personally want. Admittedly, this in itself can be quite a difficult task, but a very satisfying one!
When you're clear about yourself and what you've discovered (as a feminine and UNIQUE woman,) and what you like and want, you're far freer to pursue your goals and avoid the wastefulness that results from yielding to the pressure of others.
This is the TRUE art of being a woman and fulfilling your feminine role!
What kind of woman do you wish to be, dove?
Much love,
Melina xxx- Charm Warfare – The Art of Charm for Seductresses
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