Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tips for Feminine Poise, Grace and Loveliness

Every woman inevitably grows OLDER dove, however many women maintain their feminine poise and grace - as well as their loveliness - even in their golden years.

Your decisions and actions today, will determine if you end up growing old gracefully and serenely - or end up stiff, shrewish and shriveled!

Of course, ‘luck’ and destiny may play a role in determining your future, and in how poised, graceful and lovely you’ll be when you’ve finally grown old. However, the major factor are the GOALS you’ve set for yourself today. And your determination to accomplish what you’ve set out to become.

Every woman should ask herself;

What kind of woman do I want to be?

What do I want most to happen in my life?


Besides a fulfilling job or career, most of us want love and marriage, raising our own family, and being mistress of our very own home. Furthermore, most of us want to attract and keep the attention of a man. And if we want to attract his attention, we need to poised, graceful and LOVELY!

We should also be SEXY. When it comes to women, there's the ‘sexual sexy’ and the ‘classy sexy,’ and the latter type of sexiness is the most seductive and desirable to men - in particular, to the better types of men.


You don’t have to look prim or ordinary when you’re exuding sexuality either, but you should never look CHEAP (a poised and graceful woman is never cheap!)

A woman's sexiness should be a SUBTLE invitation with unreachable undertones, a charming mystery, so even though a man may be mesmerized, he’ll want to pursue her and get to know her better, as a person.


A woman who’s ‘classy sexy’ is invariably;

Subtle and indirect.

Respectful and modest.

Poised and graceful.

Enticing and enchanting!

And not overtly in the physical way, but as a whole person.

The first step in attaining feminine poise, grace and loveliness, (even in your twilight years,) is to nourish your skin with a diet that contains plenty of 'skin foods.'


The proteins found in the human body, and specifically in the human skin, are collagen and elastin. They’re also the components that keep the skin firm and flexible, so a deficiency in any of these proteins will eventually result in aging, sagging skin.

In addition dove, if you want to keep your skin supple, smooth and healthy, you should apply creams and lotions to it daily. Pure coconut, almond oil or olive oil is WONDERFUL for the skin. And Sophia Loren has always used olive oil as a moisturizer, and has amazing skin for her age.


Here's an excellent resource to become a beautiful and attractive woman; The Art of Beautification for Seductresses

A woman should look at feminine beauty in a HOLISTIC way, and combine a healthy diet, exercise and a good skin regimen in maintaining her beauty. Furthermore, meditation and an inner serenity will help a woman be poised, graceful and lovely - internally and externally.

Being VISUAL, men initially look at a woman's physical aspects. Although, not all men are alike in this regard, each man generally has his own physical 'type,' and likes something in particular, regarding the beauty of women....

In addition, each man is different when it comes to the type of woman he's attracted to, and what he personally considers to be lovely.


Some examples of men's physical types are;

'Fiery' redheads.

The 'librarian girl in glasses,' or the 'thinking man's woman'- who's smart, subtle and sophisticated.

Exotic looking women - the 'Sades,' the 'Imans' and the 'Kimora Lee Simmons' of this world - with their amazing cheekbones and gorgeous chocolate/caramel skin.

Big breasted women - such as Salma Hayek, Nigella Lawson and
Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Women with long beautiful legs - such as Cameron Diaz, Elle Macpherson and Maria Sharapova.

A woman with dainty ankles and feet - such as Eva Longoria, Chreryl Cole and Kourtney Kardashian.

Women with rounded derrieres - such as Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian and Beyonce Knowles.

A woman with a pair of large, soulful eyes - such as Audrey Tautou, Christina Ricci and the late Audrey Hepburn.

Basically, every man is attracted to a DIFFERENT type of woman. Therefore, we shouldn't despair over not fitting the bill, and we'll surely find SOMEONE who'll appreciate and recognize us for OUR own beauty - not the face and/or figure of something else.


Nevertheless, every woman should strive to make herself PRETTY, feminine and lovely, as outward beauty is always noticed first by a man.

Admittedly, there are men who are quirky in their tastes regarding the female form, some wanting excessively overweight girls. However, the standard for female beauty is SLIM (yet curvy,) and not fat. Moreover, healthy women are generally slim, and it's surmised, have healthier genes and babies.

The right sized body - for your particular bone structure - is a sure way to get, and stay, HEALTHY. A healthy body is attractive when you're feeding it with the right amount of nutrients - nourishing your skin, your eyes, your hair, and helping you to achieve the ideal stance and poise.

We gain our FIRST impressions of people from the way they sit, stand and walk - as well as from their gestures and facial expressions. First impressions are so important for a woman dove, because negative first impressions can have a disconcerting habit of sticking.

To become poised, graceful and lovely as women, we need to be acquainted with ourselves, and have some IDEA of the kind of impressions we’re giving to others. And there’s only one way in which we can find out, friends.

However, it could be useless asking your friends what kind of impressions you give to them, and possibly to others, as they probably wouldn’t be comfortable in telling you the truth. Moreover, so few women are capable of bearing the whole truth about themselves!

Therefore, our only hope for improvement lies in a MIRROR - and an open mind :-)

Some feminine poise and grace exercises;

Place a mirror (a long one if possible,) directly across the room, opposite the door.

Put a chair within the reflection (but not directly between the mirror and the door.)

Use your imagination (to surmise how others see you, ) and imagine you’re now welcoming a friend, someone you’re very fond of and who you haven’t seen for some time. Picture that she's standing near the mirror, so as you cross the room to welcome her, you’re directly reflected in it.

Go open the door (your hands may be extended in a cordial welcome, your face glowing with happiness and surprise,) and you greet your friend. Invite her to be seated, and seat yourself in the chair you’ve previously placed there.

Now, keep your eyes on the mirror while you imagining and acting out these things, and carefully watch four points;

1. Your walk.
2. Your arm gestures.
3. The expression of your face.
4. The way you sit.

**Before you can accurately judge the result of your trial practice, you must set a standard from which to judge. Begin with the WALK, and for feminine poise and grace, it's vitally important to carry your weight on the balls of your feet.

If this is done properly, the heel and toe of the extended foot will strike the ground at the same instant, not (as is almost invariably the case with 'unfinished' women,) heel first.

When walking as a poised and graceful woman, the leg should swing free from the hips, and as the extended foot touches the ground, the heel of the other foot should rise, throwing the weight forward onto the toe (preparatory to carrying it forward for the next step.)

Furthermore dove, both of your heels should never be on the ground at the SAME time, even for a fraction of a second.


The extended toe should always be pointed downward. And if your weight is properly placed, your chest will be carried well forward - so that if you should walk up to a wall - your chest would strike it first.

*Tip; another secret for feminine poise and grace when walking, is to keep the chest up and the toes DOWN.

In addition, there's a correct method of SITTING. The main thing here is to avoid the ungainly 'doubling up' movement that you see some women do, before being able to sit down.


This is quite needless, as well as ungraceful. Furthermore, the back, from the hips to the head, should always remain strait and erect.

If you happen to find yourself ‘addicted’ to an unbecoming sitting habit, start practicing daily the poised and graceful way of sitting. Here's the exercise;

Stand in front of your chair, and let the back of the right leg lightly touch the frame, keeping your weight well on the ball of the right foot (even here it’s important that your weight is correctly placed :-))

Place the toe of the left foot under the chair, and as you sit down, your weight should gradually be transferred from the right foot to the left.

**In sitting down, there shouldn't be the slightest bend of the body forward, and the left foot must support your weight strongly enough in order that you don’t just FLOP into the chair. instead, gracefully sink into position.

Once you experience the comfort of perfect poise and grace - in sitting, standing and walking - you’ll never allow yourself to slide back into those old ungraceful ways!

As for a welcoming gesture, this can be an individual thing. However, the gesture should be one of welcome, so that the whole movement of the body is forward.


Your arms will be slightly flexed at the elbows, your palms will be more or less upward, slightly facing each other, and about the width of the body apart.

If your welcoming gesture is stiff and awkward, or lacking in warmth and feeling, the following exercises will help to soften your elbows, loosen your wrists, and lend to every movement the CHARM that comes only from a a sense of freedom and spontaneity.

A good exercise to prepare for welcoming people in a poised and graceful manner, is to place the backs of your hands together, fingers pointed downward, in front of and close to your body (approximately at waist level.)

Bring your hands straight up in front of you - until they’re straight above your head as far as they'll go without stiffening the elbows.

Allow your hands to gradually come apart so that at the highest point, only the tips of the fingers are touching.

Make sure that you don’t bend backward from the shoulders dove, as you raise your hands. Instead, your chest should come forward ever so slightly. Furthermore, you should draw your arms apart, out at the sides, and then turn your hands over so that your palms face downward.

Let your arms sink down to your sides, returning to the original position. With your hands back to back, in front of the waist-line.

This movement will have made a complete circle, and may be repeated a number of times in succession to give you a better control of your arm movements. At no time in cultivating feminine poise and grace should your elbows be stiff. See too, that they’re always slightly flexed.

The next exercise is to extend your arms in front of your body, with your hands hanging limply from the wrists, and about a foot away from each other.

Raise your arms, allowing the wrists lead, and keep the chest well forward - until they’re straight above the head. Then, allow your hands, still limp, to fall back, so that your palms face upward, and bring your arms down in front, to their original position.

In this movement, don’t let your elbows spread apart as you bring your arms down. Keep them well toward each other, otherwise the exercise will be of no value. Moreover, make certain that your chest comes forward and that your hands are limp.

I’ve found this tendency of women bending backward quite common, and the effects negative enough to warrant some special attention.

In addition, nature won’t indefinitely provide muscular strength when it’s not properly utilized. These habits actually force an unnatural strain on one set of muscles - to the exclusion of the muscles that need to be properly used.

If you want to be a poised and graceful woman, and don't want to adopt the incorrect posture, test how your muscles operate. The next time you’re doing your hair, notice the strain on your abdominal muscles, and in the small of your back. Then try standing in the correct manner - with your chest well forward, and your back and head erect.

After doing these exercises, you’ll immediately feel a sense of feminine poise, strength and repose, free from any sort of strain. That should convince you, far more than I could do, of the discomfort you’ve perhaps been unconsciously causing yourself.

I also want to bring up the subject of facial expressions. What was your verdict in this respect when you were doing the mirror exercise? Did you discover yourself to have an indifferent or unresponsive facial expression?

If so lovely, there’s one way you can redeem yourself from the dull and uninteresting mass of women whose eyes and faces seem to be SHUTTERS, rather than beautiful windows of the soul. That is, write down a list of emotions that you’d like to portray - such as serenity, hope, joy, contentment and surprise.

This exercise will also help your imagination to write a little 'story' involving such feelings - and arrange them on your list in a sequence - followed with your story ;-)


Facial Expression Exercise;

Stand in front of your mirror and try to let your face tell a story (think how much an actress needs to portray with her facial expressions!) Moreover, don't get discouraged if you find that at first, the emotions and expressions of serenity, hope, joy, surprise and contentment seem one and the same.

Just keep persisting with this exercise, and in time you’ll find that the thought of any emotion will call up a corresponding and pleasing expression in your EYES.


Gradually, your face too will become a sensitive and expressive reflection of your thoughts and emotions. And will lend to your voice and conversation a vitality and charm that’s the very essence of a feminine, seductive and LOVELY woman’s personality.

One word of warning however; in cultivating feminine poise and grace, don’t try to cultivate a SET expression to suggest any particular emotion. It's essential to attempt to feel an emotion, and then wait for it to flow into your face. And each time, as you feel your face warming and changing to the expression of the emotion, you can pour more and more feeling into it.

Successfully done, each thought that comes to you will fill your whole face and countenance with a RADIANT and lovely responsiveness. Giving you a feminine charm and magnetism that’s much more preferred than the ‘doll-like’ prettiness of perfect but empty facial features.

Poise and grace even extends to the way that we react towards men, and women are supposed to be chased and pursued by men, as nature intended :-)

Look at the birds and the bees cupcake, and see how they perform their courtship rituals! A male may preen himself for the female, go out of his way to please her, offer her the best nest, and show how well he can provide for a brood.

The female then gets to pick the showiest and the most ABLE male. And that's the way that nature intended the species to be. Nature prevails in love too. Although, the competition is as stiff with the males as is it with the females.

Furthermore, in the realm of courtship and dating, every woman should be self-composed, a little reserved and POISED - not going against nature and doing the chasing! Moreover, feminine and lovely women are nice.

In cultivating feminine poise, grace and loveliness, why not start spending a bit more time on yourself cupcake? You could;

Find a meditation or dance class, such as ballet or Oriental dance, that specializes in developing poise and grace.

Create more order and harmony in your environment - let all your things have their places - and let each part of your business have its time.

Don't be disturbed by, or 'sweat' the small stuff - accidents and little mishaps are common and unavoidable.

Do everything in moderation and avoid extremes.

Exercise temperance, controlling your behavior so that it's always reasonable. Have that coolness and clearness of head that's so necessary for becoming a poised and graceful woman.

Practice silence and dignity - especially avoid prattling and punning when it's unacceptable to the company.

Buy some elegant clothes and accessories - that bring out the best in you.

Becoming poised and graceful also UPLIFTS you in men's eyes. Pretty soon, you'll notice how the quality men are flocking to you. And all it will take is a coy smile from you, and they'll be putty in your hands!

Much love,
Melina xxx

Books and Courses for Seductive Women

My Other Femininity Blog


The Art of Being Feminine

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