Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Emotional Intelligence For Women (And The Dangers Of Narcissism)

The peace, contentment, satisfaction and fulfillment of women is usually achieved by two factors; success success in personal life, and success in work life.

Even men recognize this where their own lives are concerned. But to be an ideal woman, a certain QUALITY of character are required, that cause friendship, comradeship and partnership to blossom.

Some women are born wives and mothers, and because they feel they "belong" to their homes, have a natural pride in, and love for their homes. And most feminine women will at least spend part of their energy making their homes beautiful, clean and orderly.

As we already know, homemaking, nurturing and beautifying is a significant part of the feminine woman's nature.

Ideally, a woman can run a home or business relatively comfortably and easily, and without much friction or fuss - if she doesn't try to take on too much at once, is realistic about what she's trying to achieve, and has good time-management.

However dove, a home or business can fail from a lack of capable house-keeping/business-running! Furthermore, even though it takes TWO to create a happy marriage, it only takes one to ruin what should be the most satisfactory and fulfilling of all human relationships.

Naturally brains and ambition are very important for a woman to have if she wants to be successful in life, and beauty is an artistic joy. But the EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT and ideal woman has even more than the average woman!

The Emotionally Intelligent Woman and Ideal Woman

1. Has brains, beauty (inner,) and substance in the highest order.

2. Trusts her intuition, which indicates perception through the subconscious mind.

3. Shows superior attributes such as generosity and kindness.

4. Has an inner sense of peace and serenity.

5. Exerts the feminine power of amativeness, which goes far beyond the mental gifts of a woman (even if she has 10 degrees!)

Now, what exactly is "emotional intelligence?" And why do we need to have/cultivate it as feminine and seductive women?

Wikipedia tells us;

"Emotional intelligence (EI) is an ability, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups....

The model introduced by Daniel Goleman focuses on EI as a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance. Goleman's model outlines four main EI constructs:

1. Self-awareness – the ability to read one's emotions and recognize their impact while using gut feelings to guide decisions.

2. Self-management – involves controlling one's emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.

3. Social awareness – the ability to sense, understand, and react to others' emotions while comprehending social networks.

4. Relationship management – the ability to inspire, influence, and develop others while managing conflict...."

Emotional intelligence is what makes a woman emotionally 'fit' if you will, and it's an attribute that the QUALITY men notice and admire in quality women *smile.*

Would you consider yourself emotionally intelligent dove?

Like the qualities of kindness and amativeness, ''El" is one of the greatest and most attractive and lovable of qualities of the male and the female.

Emotional intelligence not only involves self-control, self-discipline and self-awareness, it also involves sympathy, empathy, the capacity for understanding another's difficulties, and the desire to help others. It's even a spiritual quality possessed by sensitive, fine people.

How the lack of emotional intelligence mars and destroys happiness in the home and in the world! Moreover, mere beauty in a woman becomes irritating if associated with a shallow, petty, greedy, narrow or unkind outlook on life.

Furthermore, being emotionally intelligent doesn't involve being selfish or having an entitlement complex.

Life Can Be Difficult. If Life Was Meant To be Fair, It Would Be a CARNIVAL.

Here's something we all have to accept dove; life can be difficult, and unfair. And from the beginnings of time, life has had its unfair share of difficulties, fears and disappointments.

In fact life has its difficulties for every woman, especially for those of us who've been abused, who are super sensitive and/or who can't adjust ourselves to reality very well.

We've ALL suffered setbacks and/or adversity in one way or another, and many of us yearn for the attainment of peace, happiness and harmony. Moreover, many of us yearn to find the meaning of life - through religion, spirituality and/or philosophy. And when we study psychology, we receive a truer insight into our qualities, opinions, and actions.

As feminine and seductive women, it's important that we immerse ourselves in self-improvement and development. Even so, it can be difficult to develop emotionally and psychologically when in every one of us there's a will and desire which must be satisfied, and an energy which must have an outlet!

Furthermore, when we're born into this world, we're inherently self-centered and ego-centric beings. Even as adults, the instinct of self-preservation, hunger etc, is centered on ourselves. Gradually however, this instinct and energy must EXPAND - through love and consideration of others.

Here's the thing dove; many women ( including ourselves,) find life especially difficult because they've failed where EXPANSION of the self is concerned. And some men and women actually remain fixed in the first phase of life, i.e."infantile fixation."

Such individuals can be the victims of Narcissism, a perverse, unhealthy and dangerous form of ''self-love.'' And a narcissistic person attempts to get happiness from life as the infant does - through self-satisfaction, and self-advancement.

Not only that, but narcissistic men and women are self-centered, egotistical, arrogant and demanding.... to the extreme. They also have a massive ENTITLEMENT complex and will take everything they can get (whether they deserve it or not.) Furthermore, giving and self-sacrifice is an alien concept to the narcissist (except if it's in order to get something.)

Ask yourself dove, as a woman who aims to be an IDEAL and seductive woman, does this description fit in any degree to you?

Questions For Every Woman To Ask Herself

Do you want to give to life, or do you demand that life should give to you?

Do you think that people, employees, men, the world.... ''owe'' you?

Moreover, could gratification of self be what you so wrongly call happiness?

If you answered ''yes"to any of these questions, you're not only lacking in emotional intelligence, but you'll find that life becomes difficult.

You''ll constantly be disappointed in friendships and in love. You'll also expect and demand from others what you, yourself, can't, and aren't willing to give.

And if you have a sense of humor and perspective, you'll realize that no one will ever completely give to you - especially their trust and appreciation.

Sadly lovely, the world is full of men and women who are narcissistic infantile, and who suffer ALL of the time. Since they never had the chance to fully develop - emotionally and psychologically - they never could adjust themselves to others, to authority, to the infinite....

Despite being as toxic and as maddening as they come, you really have to feel sorry for narcissistic men and women. They suffer from jealousy and envy. They suffer from a SCARCITY mindset and a belief that there's not enough resources to go around. They suffer from a massive sense of inferiority, as well as from a lack of genuine appreciation.

Interestingly, a narcissist will often tell you that he or she is misunderstood, and even that the reason they're so misunderstood is because they're so special and rare, that no-one can possibly understand them. Furthermore, they're extremely difficult in their relationships, family life, and in business.

Essentially, a narcissistic person is so self-deluded, that ultimately, they drive everyone in their life away. And never grows up.

Ask yourself lovely, if you don't know such people, by the SCORE!

The Good News

Fortunately, when this doesn't apply to you, or to your nearest and dearest, things will go relatively smoothly for you. And when you're a fully developed woman, who has something of real VALUE to offer others the more likely you'll live a fuller, and more delightful and harmonious life.

You'll have your place in the sun, and achieve joy by giving in service to others :-)

In addition, you'll be an emotionally intelligent and COMPLETE woman, not a half-woman - full of fears, insecurity and jealousy. You won't be criticizing or complaining endlessly either (like a narcissistic person does,) and you'll be capable of loyal friendships, relationships, devotion and trust.

The Dangers of Narcissism

Unfortunately for narcissistic men and women, it's not only impossible for others to appreciate them, but to have FAITH in them (due to the damage they're constantly doing to themselves and others.) Furthermore;

1. Narcissistic people are often 'walking disasters'' and drama-queens. I don't say that to be mean dove, I say it because life seems to be in a constant state of upheaval for the narcissist. And daily difficulties usually get blown out of all proportion.

2. The narcissist's social sense and 'El' is poorly-developed. There's not only an inability to get on with others, or to give unconditionally, but an ever-present mental conflict caused by the clashing of the self-gratification urge with the moral sense.

3. The narcissist's feelings of jealousy, envy and being threatened by the satisfaction and success of others are constant. As is the harboring of imaginary grievances and slights.

4. The emotional tone of narcissistic people is almost always unhappy or angry.

5. Narcissists are constantly suspicious, and seeing evil in the most trivial and natural occurrences.

6. Narcissistic men and women form in their mind an unrealistic fantasy of themselves, and live the life of their imaginations; believing themselves to be people of great talent, uniqueness, intellect, beauty, position.... And live according to its rulings (of course, this is a massively inflated image that's out of proportion to reality.)

7. The narcissist over-endows himself/herself with superior or omnipotent attributes - such as power, wit, charm and attraction.

8. The narcissist never sees life as it is. The mind is wasted in ''castle-building,'' in saturating oneself with flattering conceits. And in their forties, narcissistic men and women often become disappointed, sour, jaded and bitter.

**The cause of narcissism lies partly in heredity, partly in the environment, and in the influence of the father, mother, or the mother-substitute.

The Narcissistic Female

The traits of selfishness and narcissism are not only anti-seductive for a woman, but warp her emotionally and intellectually, so that she lacks efficiency and squanders her divine feminine energy.

The female narcissist will be bitter indeed if she's failed to climb the ladder of business/social success. With her fantasy self as the center of attention, and as a leader of business and fashion.

She may also be the ambitious, professional woman who hasn't achieved the pinnacles of success that she originally set out to achieve. And who, twenty years later, disparages her more gifted and successful colleagues (and gives all sorts of unworthy reasons for their success.)

We all have traits of selfishness/narcissism, to a certain degree, but thankfully, not all of us have them in such extremes! Nevertheless, it may still be a good thing to probe our motives from time to time - especially if we find ourselves speaking unkindly of others.

As a feminine, seductive and ideal woman doll, the less admirable feminine traits - such as jealousy, envy and malice - which women do have a tendency to possess, should be discouraged as much as possible.

In addition, a feminine seductress knows that the weeds of character choke the more beautiful feminine qualities - such as kindness, grace The Art of Being a Woman; Feminine Grace, tolerance and empathy.

Let's also remove the rose-colored glasses when we regard ourselves, and slip them in place again when we find ourselves criticizing too harshly the faults of other people! No one's perfect. However, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be constantly aiming for IMPROVEMENT.

Where Self-Improvement and Psychology Come In

A feminine seductress always aims for self-improvement, the cultivation and development of the more ideal feminine attributes, and she studies (to a certain extent,) psychology.

Everything that a woman can learn from this fascinating subject; the science and study of the mind, can help her to do, and BE, her very best in the world. Furthermore, psychology deals with the emotions, sensations, reasonings, as well as with the subconscious motives and desires.

Self-improvement and development should be on every woman's "to-do" list. It's also a subject of vast importance for any woman who desires to lead a healthier, happier and more useful life. And to satisfy the natural urge for pleasure and to serve others.

Furthermore, the study of psychology and self-improvement/development will help women to adjust themselves to life (as it is,) with its advantages and disadvantages, its pleasure and pain, its joys and sorrows....

However lovely, a lack of simple psychological knowledge, as well as a lack of desire for self-improvement, only creates soul-sick, depressed and dreary men and women - who are a ''drag'' in their friendships and relationships.

Psychology helps us to understand ourselves, to see more clearly our own feelings and faults, and to sympathize with the minds and motives of others. And to ''know thyself,'' and to understand others, is one of the greatest lessons we can learn from life!

Anyhow dove, I do hope you enjoyed my article; 'Emotional Intelligence For Women (And The Dangers Of Narcissism!)

Much love,

Melina xxx

PS; PEACE and serenity is your natural state lovely! When you let go of your attachments and aversions to the emotions that are blocking inner peace from your view, you''ll see that it's always available to you.

The Sedona Method Course will show you how to powerfully, quickly and effectively let go of, or release, your subconscious limitations and tendencies so you can uncover your true, loving, joyous and peaceful nature. A tool uniquely suited for our time.

By using the scientifically verified Sedona Method any time you feel emotional distress, you'll actually experience it dissolving and being replaced by a feeling of greater peace, joy and well being. As you use this method throughout your day, you'll be freeing yourself to have whatever your heart desires, including the ultimate goal of total awakening.

'Furthermore, as you use The Sedona Method throughout your day, you'll find that what you now label as “peak experiences” will become your norm! You'll live a life brimming over with peace, love and joy.

The Sedona Method isn't a form of therapy or programming. Instead, it works to help you achieve any goal you desire, whether it's a connection to a higher power, or increased knowledge of how to live peacefully in the present.

Books and Courses for Seductive Women

My Other Femininity Blog

The Art of Being Feminine


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